Rugby: A Hooligan’s Game Played by Gentlemen or A Gentlemen’s Game Played by Hooligans?!

I fell in love with rugby after my first real hit. It was my first game. I had never played rugby before in my life. After missing soccer tryouts for the club team my freshman year this beautiful but massive female had called out to me at the rec center in college, “Hey! You wanna play rugby? Anyone can play.” I had three practices before that game.

I had gotten the ball from our scrum-half and had made it maybe three steps before I had gotten hit. It felt like I ran into a truck. Or a train. In reality, I had been pulverized (and maybe a little embarrassed) by a mean looking chick with a black mouthguard who might have had some sexual frustrations growing up in life. I could tell by the crowd’s reaction that I had gotten knocked pretty solid. She was a hungry beast. And I was dinner. After picking myself out of her teeth and recovering my 5 senses that had been beaten through my digestive track, I realized something: I am alive. And I feel good.

That started my love affair.

Once you realize that you can take a hit and give one right back, the game becomes mesmerizing. The rules are a little complicated at first, but with some time, they start to set in. I am here to give you the basics so that you understand what is going on when you watch that fake accent, beefcake pussy, Matt Damon, in Invictus, or more importantly, when you catch a game on ESPN or hopefully, when you go out for your first practice.

There are 15 people on the field for either side. These 15 people are divided up into 2 main groups called the Forwards and the Backs. The Forwards are numbered 1-8. These people typically tend to be your bigger, more solid players. In recreational or club teams you can identify these players because they typically are a little more overweight or slower but once you reach a professional level, these kids are all huge. Numbers 1 and 3 are props, number 2 is the hooker. These three make your “front row” during scrums (to be explained soon). Numbers 4 and 5 are locks and make up your “second row”, #s 6 and 7 are flankers and number 8 is your “8-man.”

These 8 refrigerators bind together to create a scrum, used during games to restart the ball when an offense has been committed by either team. Typically this act is what people remember and refer to when they ask me about rugby and if we actually “butt heads.” This is an intricate system to make a compact unit that binds together and moves together when the restart is called. The front rows’ heads go into the armpit space that is created by the other team when they bind in the same manner. (Ask for an actual demonstration by any rugby player, at any bar, and they will be more than glad to show you, hell, even buy you a beer for being interested.) The ball is rolled down the center of the front rows and the two hookers fight for possession of the ball by kicking it backwards through the legs of their own teammates. They control it until it finally reaches the 8-man.

At this point the scrum-half, easily identified by their smaller stature, quick hands, and the number 9 on their jersey, picks up the ball and distributes it to the Backs.

The backs consist of numbers 9-15. These charmers are typically light on their feet, have good hands, and create interlacing patterns, streaming up the field. Number 10 is the flyhalf and usually calls plays for the rest of the group. Next at #11 is inside center, followed by outside center at #12, numbers 13 and 14 are wings and work on opposite sides of the field. Last but certainly not least, is the fullback.

Games are usually 90 minutes long, 45 minute halves with a ten minute half-time. Games are played on the “pitch,” or field, and the rugby ball is kicked through the uprights, (these look like skinny football posts). Points are scored by placing the ball on the ground in what could be described as the end zone or in-goal area. This is known as a “try” and worth 5 points. After a try is scored, the team is allowed a kick through the uprights, 30 m out directly from the point the ball was touched down. This is worth two points and can be extremely difficult if the ball was touched in either far side. At any point, either team can kick for 3 points through the uprights.

Rules of the game: the ball must be passed backwards or laterally, never forward. Therefore, if the ball is accidentally hit forward (i.e. imagine a fumble or just bad pass) the play stops and a “knock-on,” is called by the referee. Following this, there is a scrum. If the ball happens to go out of bounds, out of “touch,” then a line-out is called. During a line out, the hooker is responsible for throwing the ball down the center of two lines, consisting of teammates of either players. Each line has groups of players, groups usually consist of three people, the front and back persons lifting the middle player into the air. They try to catch the thrown ball and get it back to their team. Once a player is tackled to the ground, they must release the ball. If the player holds onto the ball, the play is stopped and that team is penalized. The penalty results in possession and field gain by the other team. The offending team must give 15m space to the opposing team. Once a player is tackled and releases the ball (hopefully to their teammates) a ruck is formed. This happens quickly and frequently in games. The two players that were the tackled and tackler are out of the play and try to reenter soon after. Teammates following in pursuit push each other, trying to gain ownership of the ball. They are not allowed to pick up the ball (hands in!-rule) until they have completely cleared space over the ball (“so a bird could shit on it,”). Teams must push straight on. They cannot simply dodge people and run around a ruck to pick up a ball.

Rugby is a fast game played with skill and quick decisions. I admire the game because there are almost no time-outs. Players must adapt and change their strategies constantly on the field. For example, during a scrum, if our loose-head prop is being beaten every time and is our weak point, a simple solution might be to switch the props or suggest getting his/her head under the other player and driving through the other player’s chest. Let her feel it! If the other team has a kicking game (they like to kick a lot to gain field), then we might suggest our fullback play deeper and more defensively.

There are sometimes as many as three captains on the field: Forward, Back, and Team. The forward captain makes changes and keeps up the morale of the scrummies, while the back captain may suggest different plays and keep up with the performance of the backs. Usually the team captain is addressed solely by the referee if there are any offenses by the team (“Captain, make sure your girls keep their hands out of the rucks!”) and therefore, they are responsible for the team as a whole. Like with most sports, women’s rugby is somewhat slower but played with more finesse and fluidity. Men’s rugby is faster, harder, and transitions are almost constant.

Rugby gets better with time. You will always have a rugby family, anywhere in the world. The best thing about rugby is the camaraderie between teammates, the beer that flows after games, and the fact that some player might have wanted to kill you earlier that day, they are now buying you a shot at the bar. Everything is left on the field. You play hard and then celebrate (win or lose) with your opposition, singing a few songs and sharing a few beers. All of my college roommates were rugby players. I went on to coach high school girls’ and play club after college and continue to love the game from either side of the pitch.

I do not mean to refer to myself so much when I explain that it takes a special person to play rugby. But I have found these things to be true about almost all rugby players, simply think of James Carcilli, who played in college also. These people need to be pretty physical, have some wits about them, and honestly, be a little crazy.

Google the “Haka”, performed by the sexy New Zealand AllBlacks, or if you want to see one of the greatest players, check out Jonah Lomu. He is delicious and incredible. USARugby is a great website to check out if you want to find a team in your area (stateside). If you have any questions or want to play sometime, just shoot me an email kirlinh@colorado.edu. Cheers!